Alphabet Soup - Letter "W"

For the letter W I want to write a few words about WORK.

I've changed jobs recently at the college where I work. I've moved from a position of supportive coordination and data analysis for program evaluation to being the director of a different department - sitting in the hotseat as the Grand Poobah with supervisory authority over 65 people. YIKES.

However, rather than let it go to my head, I am reminded of some of the best bosses I have known over the years, those who have set fine examples of servant leadership. I've had a few arrogant idiots show me what NOT to do. But I've also had a few fine men and women as bosses in the past who taught me well. Hopefully I can model my own style of leadership in the fashion I've been shown by some of them as I approach this new responsibility.

I've had A LOT of different kinds of work over the years.

My very first job as an adult was as sign carrier outside a health spa in Phoenix. From there I moved on to phone solicitor. Later I worked in a factory making CB antennas. I was an office assistant. I was a dishwasher. I worked as a nanny. And then I began climbing the education mountain which led me to a whole different scope of jobs - juvenile probation officer, mental health worker, HIV/AIDS prevention educator, adjunct instructor of sociology, executive director of a non-profit, marketing director of a retirement community, and at least half a dozen other jobs with varying degrees of authority/responsibility.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what work means to me...to what extent it defines me and to what extent it is merely the necessary activity I do to pay for the rest of my life.

I've learned so much about myself in the pursuing of work.

Every job I've every had has had elements that I disliked. All but one of my jobs have had things about them that I deeply appreciated (the cb factory was horrid with no redeeming value other than the paycheck, and that was scarecely worth the mind numbing drudgery. I THANKED the president of the company when he fired me for spending too much time reading the want ads looking for a new job when I was supposed to be at my post - it was a deplorable job that I truly despised.)

I've also thought a lot about how we pick what it is we do. I've thought about the role models I've had that have shown me the range of what is possible. I've thought about the mentors who have helped teach me key life lessons to help me along the way.

Work gives meaning and diection to my life in so many significant ways.

So many people spend their lives dreading Monday morning returns to the workplace. They live for vacation and count the days till retirment. But I choose to take a different view. I spend most my waking hours working. It just makes sense to me to embrace it rather than curse it. I love my vacations, but I also feel deeply grateful for the work I have had come my way. Work is not a necessary evil to me. It has been my joy, my opportunity, my gift, my blessing in so many ways.

I hope I can honorably meet the challenge of this new job I've taken on. I'm certain I'll make my share of mistakes. But when it is all said and done I hope I can bring vision and direction to the department in a way that will guide the team I will be working with so we can all bring our best gifts and abilities forward. I hope to set a tone where we can trust each other and have fun in doing what we do.

I know there will be days when I will hate my job. I will get exasperated by the endless meetings, all the required paperwork, the politics, and the inevitable dysfunctions of the bureaucracy. But through it all, I want to remember that I have a chance with this job to make a difference in some ways that I truly believe in, despite the chaos I will have to sometimes wrestle with. I don't know how long I'll do this job. I suspect it will be no more than a couple years at most. But whether I'm in in 30 days or ten long years...I aim to give it my best shot. And I really am gratefuly for the blessing of work.

Alphabet Soup - Letter "V"

V is for VALENTINE

There are so many things the word Valentine means to me.

The most obvious is the holiday of Valentine's Day celebrated each February 14. From Pagan rites to American greeting card associations, this day has created no small stir among mortals.

Here are a view links about all that..

History of Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day Crafts
>
Valentine's Day Recipies
St. Valentine
Cross Cultural notions of love & gifts

So there's plenty there to ponder about.

For me, Valentine's has some other signficance as well. It is the day on which I made two key crossing over decisions that have had and will continue to have considerable impact on my life. The first was when I was fifteen and chose to let some absolutely forgetable boy "go all the way" with me, (after a church dance, no less) more out of curiosity than affection or passion. I remember thinking at the time, "That's IT? THAT is what all the movies and songs and poetry are about?? You have GOT to be kidding me! THAT is what reputations are won and lost over? THAT is what people wait for years saving themselves for? THAT is what this whole big deal is? You must be mistaken, world, because that was really not all that impressive." Thus began a rather dark and jaded season of my life when I stumbled through my world believing life was not special and there wasn't much to look forward to. It wasn't until several years later in the arms of man I truly cared about that the earth moved and I finally discovered HOLY TOMATOES ....THIS is what they were talking about, THIS is what the songs and the books and the poems are about. THIS is absolutely, mindblowing INCREDIBLE." Yeah, love really did make all the difference. Go figure.

So for me, Valentine's day is very much a symbol of the importance of Love.

Then there was this Valentine's day. A day when I made a choice to commit to a job that will be a complete change in direction for me that could well shape the next several years of of my life. (more to come on that soon.) I'm still astonished that I did it. What was I thinking? I guess I was thinking I was ready for a big challenge. So now ready or not, here I come.

Then, last but not least, is my dear pal Patty Valentine who is currently serving as a Peace Corp Volunteer in Ghana. My friendship with her loops around the past 3 moves I've made and several for her as well. We've laughed together, cried together, and built a bond of trust that is one of my dearest treasures. I've trusted her with things I tell no one. I know to my bones that she totallly accepts me just the way I am.

I miss her terribly having her half way across the world. But I remain confident our friendship will remain strong through occassional letters and care packages. She'll be back in the states in another year so we can pick up where we left off on sharing one another's lives.

So Valentine's Day means plenty to me. What's it to you?

Alphabet Soup - Letter "U"

U is for UNITY; I write this from the heart. UNITY is a choice I make in my marriage.

Unity does not mean I agree with everything my husband may say or think or believe. It means I openly acknowledge my bond with him and am committed to keeping that alliance strong in spite of our differences.

UNITY was put to the test in my household recently.

I have been on pins and needles waiting to hear if I might get a job that I had applied for. I live in Oregon and the job is in Michigan. I am ready to make that move. However, over the course of the last several days it has become ever more clear that my beloved husband is not. Up until now he was hedging on expressing his reservations about it. I guess he was hoping I simply would not get the job, thus avoiding him being in the hotseat of putting the kabosh on my dream. But as the preliminary interview went very well and I was ready to start showing our house to potential buyers, the jig was up and the cat out of the bag.

While he too appreciates the positives a move back to the Midwest could bring us, and would welcome the chance to be closer to family there, he is not ready to give up his job here to make that happen.

So we have very DIFFERENT ideas of what is important at this season of our lives. We have very DIFFERENT priorities of what matters most. There is no way to compromise on this. Either we live here and I am disappionted or we live there and he is disappointed or we live apart and we are both unhappy. Someone has to give. In this case, that will be me.

I have cried more tears than I can count about this. I really thought our agreement was that once he hit 62 and could take social security I would have the freedom to take any job I wanted - where ever that might lead. I knew it would mean some sacrifices. But I thought he would support the chance for me to find a career move that was right for me since I'll be working another 15 years. I've done cross country moves multiple times for him and made sacrifices every time. I thought this time it was my turn to lead us, and that I could lead us back to where our sons and grandchildren are. I really believed we were on the same page with this choice.

Apparently once we got away from the talking stage to the putting things in boxes and calling movers for estimates stage he had second thoughts (and third and fouth and fifth.) Bottom line - he would go if I was insistent, if I demanded, if I said I would be miserable if we stayed here. But he would not be happy about it. Sure, I could get my way. But that would simply open up a wound of another sort, one I am not willing to breach. So, although I've done my best to convince him why I believe it really would be best for ALL of our family - including him - to take this leap of faith and trust that we would land on our feet once we got back there, I will not throw a fit or issue ultimatums. Sadly, right now it seems he just can't get past his fears and reservations about the unknown factors. That frustrates me beyond words. Still, even if I'm convinced we are missing out on something we both would really value, I cannot, will not ask him to do it if he does not believe it is the right thing.

I feel so much sorrow and anguish over this. But what I do NOT feel is a wedge between me and him. I choose not to.

I adore this man I am married to. I honor him for his integrity, his work ethic, his righteousness. I love his quirky sense of humor and so appreciate the way he makes me groan & laugh with his kooky ways. I am inspired by his sense of adventure and ability to play...something I can definitely learn from when I am taking life oh-so-seriously. I am humbled by his commitment to service and kindness to others. I am grateful for how handy he is around the house and truly appreciate his willingness to take part in projects big and small to make our home better. Besides that, just in the day-to-day maintenance stuff he's more than willing to do his share of the cooking and cleaning and all that domestic stuff that otherwise could be overwhelming if I felt it was all mine to do. I love his passion for his music, his reliability and strength. He is one of the most decent human beings I know. He gives me room to be who I am in so many ways. Granted, in this one specific instance it does feel like he is holding me back and limiting my opportunity for growth. But in countless dozens of other ways that only the two of us know, he has given me the nurturing to flourish into the woman I am today. He truly has been my dearest friend for the past 26 years. I choose him, where ever that may leave me.

Do I wish he was supportive of this move? You betcha! Am I sad as sad can be that it will not work out as I had planned? Absolutely. But I refuse to allow this difference to become a seed of bitterness to tarnish the bond we have for each other.

Unity does not mean we have to be a reflection of each other. Unity means that we make the deliberate choice to honor and support and uphold each other in love.

I choose unity. Even when it is really, really hard. Even when my heart is breaking into a dozen splintered pieces, I choose love.

So often I hear people say things like "I can't help the way I feel."

I don't buy it. I say we CAN choose to overcome our passions. We can choose honor and love in circumstances when the world says we are justified to be angry, indignant, outraged. I feel pain. I feel sorrow. But I choose not to turn it to anger. I choose love.

When I need to be reminded of this, I can turn to the words of Gordon B. Hinkley whose recent talk "Slow to Anger" can be read here. Such powerful words! Tomorrow is Gordon Hinkley's funeral. He will be deeply missed. May his memory be eternal. And may I continually strive to remember his words.

Alphabet Soup - Letter "T"

Tantalizing Turkey Tetrazini tingles my tummy on Tuesdays.
Toes tangle tomato vines as I go trudging through my garden.
Tight fisted baby clutching my finger, dreaming of
tiddlywinks, tadpoles, tamarack trees, tangerines and torchlight,

Apart from that foolishness...

TESTIMONY - My life has a sense of meaning and purpose because I have a testimony of the reality of God the Father, His son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. I know each member of the godhead is real and that they are aware of me in a very specific and personal way. I know that God lives and that He loves me. That counts for a lot!

TREES - I adore trees. One of my criteria for living anywhere is that there have to be trees around. As much as I like the house I now live in, what really sold me on the place is that there are several BIG trees as well as a bunch of smaller ornamentals all around the yard. I love trees that bloom, trees that change color, trees that have needles and last all the year round. There's just something powerful and comforting about a good tree.

TEETH - I have been blessed with a healthy mouth. I know people who were not. I've had my share of fillings and a few crowns, but for the most part I have good strong teeth that can bite into apples or corn on the cob without any problem. That's a good thing!

TELEPHONE - I remember the days when a long distance call was a rare occasion, usually reserved for important news. Now days with my free Sprint-to-Sprint calling I can chat for hours at a time with family and friends living far away. I am so glad we are able to stay in touch that way.

TABLE - We have a lovely Oak dining table with three leaves that can come in or out depending on what size we want it to be. I love that thing! I enjoy having people over for dinner for an evening of playing board games or cards. Our table has provided the setting for much laughter and sharing that are dear to my heart.

TENT - we have a couple different tents for when we go camping. They haven't been used much over the last couple years, but I hope that will change soon. One is a small dome tent that sets up very quick and easy with shock-corded poles. The other is a huge 3 room tent for when we have more people and gear to give home to. I've had some grand adventures in these tents. Hope to have more! I enjoy camping. I love getting off the beaten track, away from other people to do some serious exploring. I like cooking over a campfire, telling stories & singing late into the night, listening to crickets and watching the stars.

TULIPS - these are among my favorite flowers. We have all different kinds planted around our yard. After the long winter it feels so reaffirming to see them poke up through the ground in the spring. The blaze of color they add always cheers my soul.

THUNDER - I love big storms. There's just something about the way the ozone makes the air smell right before it rains, and then when thunder starts booming it leaves me all jittery with delight. I know that lightening can be dangerous, yet I can't help but like the way it feels so long as I am watching all safe and dry from my porch. The colors of the sky shift with the wind and my skin gets all tingly every time the thunder booms. Angels are bowling! There's another strike!

Alphabet Soup - Letter "S"

SNOW DAYS - During the years we lived in the Midwest on cold winter mornings we would lie in bed and listen to the radio, hoping for that magical announcement proclaiming that school would be closed on account of snow. When the word came we'd all shout YIPPEE!! It meant a whole day unrestricted by duty or schedule. I have a big hump back trunk that I picked up at an antique store years ago - it is a beauty. In that trunk are boxes of all sorts of precious family mementos - the silk flowers I wore in my hair the day my beloved & I were married, the boys' various awards, report cards, trophies, and art projects, my mothers old square dance skirt, all sorts of "stuff" of no value other than the memories they hold. On snow days we'd make piping hot cups of steaming chocolate to warm us as we opened up that old trunk and spread the contents all over the living room floor. We would tell each other stories of what we remembered from each thing.

"Hey Mom! Remember this one?!" the kids would cry out. Or, "Tell about the day I was born" (a tattered old receiving blanket) or "Tell about the time the truck broke and you prayed and God made it drive" (a knob off a gear shift) "Tell about ....

Those were the days when we preserved the oral history of our family. NO TV allowed, just us and our memories and imaginations.

Later on in the day we'd play marathon monopoly, read out loud to each other from classic books like Robinson Caruso or The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Sometimes we would bundle up and go outside to build snow forts and marvel at the giant icicles hanging from the eaves of our house.

Those were great days.

SANDY BEACHES - while I very much savored the season of my life when my sons growing up years was my main focus, I must say I have taken to the "empty nester" season with relish and delight. I have loved the freedom my Beloved and I now have for spontaneous travel. We have been blessed to be able to see some wonderful parts of the world. We've been to Fiji, Costa Rica, Egypt, Mexico and most of the United States. Some of our best trips have been the tropical ones (...although Alaska was fun too!) While I am not a diver like my husband, I do enjoy snorkeling, and love the powerful sense of energy I feel watching mighty waves crash. I have laughed at pelicans diving, squealed with delight at sea lions, and sat quietly in reflection watching many a sunset. I love the beach!

SOUP - split pea, lentil, clam chowder, chicken noodle, you name it - I love a good soup!

SABBATH - this day I will ponder much that I have to be grateful for, reflect on the areas where I need to repent, and draw closer to the most important S word of all:

SAVIOR - the relationship that makes all the rest of my life have meaning.

Alphabet Soup - Letter "R"

RETURNING to this much neglected blog after a long break

READING has brought me much joy - THESE are the books I read (or listened to) last year. I'm excited by the opportunity to find some good ones this time around. Any suggestions?

RAIN - as a child of the desert (I grew up in Arizona) I will always have a deep respect for much needed moisture. Even when I've lived places where it rained frequently I've continued to recognize it as a miraculous gift that brings life to parched earth.

REM SLEEP - that deep, restful sleep in which dreams may come. Many years of chronic insomnia have taught me to be very, very grateful for whatever snatches of sweet sleep I can claim.

RAILROADS - I've had a few train rides in my life and have loved them all. Trains are a great way to travel! I hope to do more.

ROOSTERS - I love the sound of cock-a-doodle-doo in the mornings!

RIPE FRUIT - I am a lover of most any kind of fruit, so long as it is ripe. I'm always disappointed when all the bananas in the store are hard and green. I hate store bought tomatoes because they are generally picked when they are still green and hard so they will fare better in shipping and transport. Eating one picked ripe straight from my garden is always a delight.

Alphabet Soup - Letter "Q"

QUILTS to keep me warm on cold winter nights

QUART jars filled with my yummy home canned peaches

QUILL pens that signed the Declaration of Independence, helping to establish my freedom

QUESTIONS that keep me searching, thinking big thoughts and pondering deep

QUIET times to calm my chaos in this crazy old world

Alphabet Soup - Letter "P"

Prunes * Pomegranates * Playdough * Pirate Movies * Prayer * Pies in the face * Playmates * Pajamas * Pansies * Peonies * Parakeets * Parties * Passport * Penicillin * Pets * Pickles....and then there's more: Photographs * Physicans * Phone * Pinecones * Pick-up Trucks * Pineapple * Piranha Fish! Most of all PEACE, which I seek with all my heart.

Alphabet Soup - In Search of the big O

A series of things have piled up in the Piranha household over the last week or so which left me feeling more than a little glum. If ever there was a time when I needed to Count My Blessings, it would be now. I have SO MUCH abundance in so many areas of my life...health, spirit, family, friends. But alas, over the last few days all I could see was the bad news. Three different doses of disappointment came one on top of the other - first I learned I didn't make the cut for the job back in Michigan that had seemed so perfect for me. (Rotten timing to get my "no thank you" letter on Christmas Eve.) Then came two more rather big reverses right on top of that which caught me completely off guard. One has to do with a close family member and the other a financial situation we got stuck with unfairly. Adversity with a capital A seemed ready to camp out for a good long spell just to see how I would react.

I've had my Eeyore moments, moping about with a pessimistic face. But I KNOW that in the big picture of life there is still plenty to be grateful for no matter what challenges may come.

So onward and upward to list the O blessings that enrich my life!

I'll start off with OYSTERS - to remind me that how we respond to the things that irritate or trouble us can make all the difference. The creation of pearls teach me that painful experiences can lead to beauty over time. So rather than moan or whine or wail about the injustice of life's disappointments I can truly ask myself "where is the blessing in this?" If I look hard enough, I WILL Find it.

OXYGEN - so easy to take for granted. But spend a day in the company of a person with serious breathing difficulty and you will be reminded how precious it is simply to take in a lung full of easy air. I am also reminded of the time I spent in Cairo, Egypt where the air pollution is truly atrocious. I'm so grateful to live in a place where I see blue skies instead of brown haze. I am thankful indeed for good air to breath and good lungs to suck it all up with.

OHIO - is a place that will always be dear to me. My beloved and I moved to the Buckeye State just three months after we married and lived there from 1982-1986. Some of my dearest friends to this day are those I met back then. Some are still there, some have moved away like me. But I still count them all as my Ohio buddies and they add sweet richness to my life.

OREGON - is where I have called home for the past six years. I don't know that we will stay a whole lot longer. I'm actively looking for a job now and most of my applications have been in other states. But I've had many wonderful adventures here and found some good friends during our time here. I'll always remember this place fondly. And who knows? We could end up staying ...just depends what cards we get dealt. I'm coming to understand and accept that the universe has plans and I'm just along for the ride!

OATMEAL - true comfort food for me. Besides being yummy its good for you.

OCEANS - It took me a long time to overcome my mistrust of the sea and general fear of water after a near drowning in Florida many years ago. But finally I've come to view the ocean as my ally once more. Being married to a serious scuba diver has taken me to several gorgeous beaches over the years - most recently at Playa del Carmen, Mexico. The Ocean there was so beautiful & soothing. Had a great time!

ORIGAMI - just plain old pieces of paper folded in elaborate patterns to make things of beauty. I have some Origami butterflies on my refrigerator door. Good reminders that out of small and simple things can come treasures!

And there are other things to be sure...like all the other letters of the alphabet, the Letter O brings me plenty to smile about, even when the world brings an OUCH!

Alphabet Soup - Letter "N"

Rather than write a little bit about a whole list of words for this letter, I want to focus on just one:

NOW - One of my goals recently has been to learn to live more consistently in the present moment. It's so easy to obsess over the past, replaying things that are done and gone, continually second guessing myself. If only I had... If only I had not... Regrets for what has come before have their purpose if taken in small doses. They can instruct by showing us how to take a different path next time. But getting stuck in continual replays of old business is counterproductive.

The other trap is to get stuck longing for what is yet to come forfeiting the present by constantly putting off today's chance for happiness with "...when I get done with this project" or "when the kids are older" or "after I graduate" or "when I have time" as if somewhere in the future there would be some sort of magical different reality. OR the flip side is worrying about the future, all the what ifs that MIGHT happen, that COULD happen...most of which never will, yet I have put myself through all the angst worrying about it as if it already had.

Whether it is being overly focused on the past, or tangled up in the future, I want that pattern of time warp focus to end. I want to live in the present moment. I want to live in the NOW.

It makes sense to pay attention to, remember, and learn from the past. But I need to acknowledge it is past. It makes sense to think about and plan for the future. But ultimately, the future is unknown. I can only truly experience THIS moment.

One of my favorite reminders of this important lesson is the story The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson.

I choose to be awake and present NOW.